I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...well, not quite that bad but I'm in a tough place where I need to make a decision between two good things. You see, at the beginning of the year I got interested in the possibility of teaching oversees. When I did some research and looked up some amazing oversees Christian schools, I found out that you need a few years of experience. That's cool...that gives me time to pay off loans and get a few years under my belt before going to another country. During this same time, God really gave me a peace about living at home next year with the fam. Not only will I get to pay off loans in a year or so, but I get to spend time with my awesome siblings that for the past 4 years, I've had to try to maintain a long-distance relationship with. I've watched them grow up while I've been here. Bethany will be in high school next year and she's becoming a young woman. I began to get excited at the thought of her and I becoming closer and being able to be there for her as she matures and goes through high school. I can go to her's and Josh's events and support them....I can be a sister again! At first I was kinda down about not having a lot of friends in Columbus. But, again, God showed me the endless possibilities. Rosie lives in Columbus and knows so many people. I began to really get excited to meet new people, get involved in my church and maybe even some other youth organizations in the area. There's so much I can do!!!
Then, I got a phone call.....from one of the oversees organizations I had applied to awhile ago. They needed a h.s. biology teacher next year...pronto! Ahh! Holy cow! What do I do?!?!? The lady talked to me about how I'd be a full-time missionary raising my own support and such. Wow....I wasn't thinking long-term and I wasn't thinking about being a missionary. I didn't feel like God had pointed me in that direction. I talked with mom and she told me about times when she and dad had to decide between two good decisions and how you have to look at what you value. Right now in my life building strong relationships with my two younger siblings is very important to me. Paying off my loans is important to me. So the lady said she's email me another part of the application process and I could think and pray about it. For weeks it didn't come and I thought, "Ok, this is a good thing then if I'm unsure about it." Then it came and I hesitated to reply, feeling like I knew I wasn't going to go but still unable to make such a big final decision. I could have a job next year! That's big!!! Last night I listened to a voicemail on my phone that was from the director of the school, wanting to talk to me about it all. Shoot. What now Jen?? I don't understand why God would give me such a peace and excitement about living at home next year if He wants me to go oversees. It's not something I'm looking at and going, "Ya! That's what I wanna do! That's where I should go!!" Maybe in a few years down the road but just for a year or so....I'm not looking at long term. So here I stand, on the brink of making a big decision so pray for me if you have a few minutes.....I'd really, really appreciate it, and let me know what you think.
